A Sign That Should be Posted in Every Bar

A Quickie Please

A man traveling out west enters a small restaurant that serves beer and is seated at a table.  In a few minutes an attractive waitresses walks over and asks, "What would you like, sir?" 

The man looks at the menu and then scans the waitress’ beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."

The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns to his table and asks again, "Sir, what would you like?"  The man flashes the waitress a broad smile and answers, "A quickie, please."

This time her anger takes over, and she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.

A elderly gentleman sitting at the next table sipping on a beer leans over and whispers, "Young Man, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'."

Three People Bar Owners and Bartenders Should Thank

Bar and tavern owners, as well as their bartenders, should pause for a few seconds each day to give thanks to these three great men.  These men provided them the opportunity to earn a living, generate profits and be rewarded with huge tips. This article highlights the three greatest bar legends: Henry, Facundo and Jose.

Henry, the son of Wales farmer, became famous in the British Navy not as a sailor but as a privateer (which by the way - was not a pirate).  During the 17th -century. Henry earned the reputation of being one of the most successful privateers in the Royal Navy. When the British finally succeeded in ousting the Spanish fleet from the Caribbean, the King of England personally appointed Henry the Lt Governor of Jamaica from {1664-65}.

Henry did not like government work though so he resigned to become a land owner in Jamaica. On his land, Henry grew all sorts of wonderful spices native to Jamaica. Henry also loved rum - so he grew his own sugar cane so he could to distill it into rum. Henry wanted a unique flavor of rum so he infused the rum he produced with the favorite spices he grew.

Though Henry made all his rum in Jamaica he chose to call it a product of Puerto Rico - is true! - because that’s where Henry first enjoyed the wonderful taste of rum. Yes, the Henry I am talking about is none other than Henry Morgan - Captain Henry Morgan - or who sometimes bar owners and bartenders refer to just as the Captain.  So you see there really was a Captain Morgan. 

Today Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum is the largest selling rum in the United States, Canada, Great Britain and South Africa. The image of a man in a dashing, red coat, with long flowing black hair, standing on one foot - printed on every label is the actual likeness of Captain Morgan.

The Second person bar and tavern owners should thank is Facundo. Facundo was a Spanish wine merchant who immigrated to Cuba in 1830.  While in Cuba, Facundo discovered the wonderful flavor of rum.  At the time, Cuban rum was considered an unrefined drink that only the poorest of peasants would drink. Seldom, was rum ever sold in taverns or fine restaurants. Facundo however liked the taste of rum so much that he decided to use his wine making skills to refine it. 

Facundo worked for years trying to isolate the perfect strain of yeast suitable for properly distilling rum; most important - he even went one step further. He filtered all his rum through charcoal which he believed would to remove any impurities. Finally, Facundo decided to age his rum - just like wine was aged - in fresh white oak barrels.  He thought aging rum would 'mellow its wild flavor'. 

Facundo was the first person to ever produce a “clear or white" rum. Since everyone enjoyed his new rum he set up a distillery in Santiago, Cuba in 1862 in an old warehouse building which was full of fruit bats in the rafters. Working near those bats every day inspired Facundo to create his logo for his rum. 

What many people forget is that Facundo invented two very special drinks the world still loves to this day. The first one he created right after the Spanish War which he called the " Cuba Libre" (which literally means 'Cuba is Free') along with another wonderful drink he created just for the ladies so they to could enjoy his rum. He called his second drink - the Daiquiri.

Facundo always insisted Cuba was the home of rum and his rum - Facudo Bacardi's Rum - became the King of all rums. Ironically the Bacardi distillery he created and used for over 100 years was confiscated by Fidel Castro.  When Castro nationalized all businesses after taking power in Cuba Facundo's family quickly decided to move their distillery operation over to a neighboring island - Puerto Rico. 

Today, though Barcardi Rum is distilled in Puerto Rico, it is still called a Cuban Rum. Bacardi rum is the largest privately held spirit production company in the world.

And just so you no there never was a Ron Bacardi. ‘Ron’ which is on the label of every Bacardi bottle is the Spanish word for rum. 

The final man in this story of legends is really amazing. When the Spanish conquistadors arrived in Mexico back in the 1500’s they were introduced to a local drink called 'pulque'. The conquistadors found it disgusting but by using modern techniques they were able to refine the distilling process of pulque and created an entirely new spirit called Mezcal.

King Ferninand the VI of Spain happened to grant a noble Spanish citizen a land grant in Mexico 1758 so he could start a farm in the Mexican state of Jalisco. On his new farm, this Spanish gentleman began to cultivate agave, a native plant that grows wild throughout central Mexico.  Agave by the way is what is distilled to make Mezcal.  However the Spanish farmer only harvested the best agave he grew on his land and by doing so he was able to quickly improve the taste of Mezcal. 

Like the conquistadors he also improved the distilling process for his agave and radically changed the flavor of Mezcal.  In fact, he changed the flavor so much he that he created a new spirit which he named after the village where he lived in Mexico – the village of Tequila.

However his real brilliance was that he did something unheard of. While every distiller at the time always provided their spirits in huge wooden kegs or small wooden casts, Don Jose Antonio de Cuervo decided to try using a new Portuguese invention called the glass bottle.  So Jose bottled all his Tequila. 

As a result, Jose Curveo's Tequila became the most popular selling tequila in the world. Today, Jose Curveo sells 35% of all the tequila sold in the world - twice as much as it nearest competitor.

If you like good bar and tavern trivia do the right thing -  Google Eba Gee. Not only will Eba Gelso share great bar trivia with you - Eba will teach you simple ways to increase your bar and tavern sales as well as earn more in tips. Go ahead connect with Eba Gee either on Face Book or Linked In ... you won't be sorry.

How To Sabotage Your Bar’s Business

Ever see a great bar or tavern with an ideal location and a perfect floor layout that isn’t making money. How can that be? Are not good locations and great floor layouts two of the prime factors in successful bars and taverns? Could the answer be sabotage?

All businesses should have two goals: 1) generate sales and 2) maximize profits. If bar owners aren‘t working towards those two goals they may be sabotaging their businesses. Below are the four common ways bar owners sabotage their bar’s success.

Drinking on The Job. For some reason many bar and tavern owners think its okay for them and their staffs to drink while tending bar. Think Applebee’s, Hooters, Green Mill etc. allow their managers and bartenders to drink while working? Absolutely not! Do CVS and Walgreens allow its employees to take drugs when they work? Let’s hope not.

It’s refreshing when I offer to buy a bartender a drink and hear them respond “We’re not allowed to drink on our shift … however buy me a chip and I promise I will have a drink on you tonight when I get off work”. I think that’s cool. 

Keeping Lousy Employees. For some reason bar owners retain marginal and incompetent employees far longer than most other business would. I think it’s because many are relatives; neighbors and family members of friends. We all know it’s hard to find good employees; especially people who are licensed and know how to properly mix drinks. However keeping a lack luster employees is costing you money. Find a new one and train them to be a great employee?

Tolerating Obnoxious Customers. Do banks, shoe stores and auto parts stores tolerate loud, obnoxious and foul mouth customers? Not many - if any. Most politely ask an obnoxious person to leave. Yet bar and taverns owners tolerate questionable customers and shrug it off as the cost of doing business. And that’s right it is costing them business. You bar stools should only be for good customers.

Giving Away Free Drinks. Bar and tavern owners perpetuate a myth that says giving away ‘free drinks’ helps prime the pump. Oh really? What pump is that? Dentists don’t give away free cleanings? Auto Mechanics don’t give away fee oil changes” so why do bar and tavern owners think they have to give away free drinks? 

The profit margin on drinks is small and giving away a dollar here and a dollar there adds up. 20 free cocktails and a dozen free beers is the equivalent to two six packs and almost a bottle of booze. Mechanics can afford to give away an oil change after a $600 transmission job and Dentists can afford to give away a free cleaning after a $3,000 set of braces but they don’t!

Since the New Year is about to arrive now is the perfect time to implement some new business practises to increase your sales and maximize your profits.

The first one is easy; don’t tolerate drinking on the job. Employees may not like it but this is America; they have the right to walk out whenever they want.

Second, terminate your worst employee immediately. Don’t say you don’t know who they are of course you do. It’s the one who generally arrives late and calls in sick often. Or the one who rings up the lowest sales each shift or the one with highest customer complaints. You know exactly who your worst employee is – so get rid of them and find a better one.

Third upgrade your customers. Never in public – but certainly in private - talk to your obnoxious customer’s one on one. Tell them you won’t be tolerating foul language - rudeness to other customers, or obnoxious behaviors anymore. The sooner you end or get rid of obnoxious customers the sooner you’ll have bar stools available for better customers.

Finally, begin to think of your inventory {your liquor} as cash. Before you give away any beer or booze think what you are doing? You are giving away money. Money you won’t generate when you give it away. Look at it this way, if the only reason as customer comes into your bar is to get free drinks then you don’t need that customer. Start making money.

Eba G is Profit Analyst for small bars and local tavern. Join Eba G. on face book and learn more ways to improve your sales and profits.

Should Small Bars and Local Taverns Have Legends?

We live in a world based on fact - fiction and legends. Facts are things we know for sure - like gravity. Fiction we all know is not true - like Gina can throw a baseball over a mile. But Legends - aah, now these are the things that make us wonder and occasionally smile.

Ever heard the Legend of the Lone Ranger; the self-appointed law man who wore a mask and shot silver bullets? He and his Native American companion fought injustice in the old west? What about the legendary swordsman - Zorro? He single-handedly fought the Spanish government because it oppressed and over taxed the early settlers of California.

Now neither Zorro nor the Lone Ranger can be factually confirmed as there is no official documentation about them, but every school age child and all senior citizens know about their heroic exploits. So should bar and tavern owners consider having ‘Legends’? Well some do … and those are generally the bars with biggest crowds making the most money.

Whenever I walk in a new bar I love learning about the bar's history. Some bars print their histories on the back of their menus others hang a prominent plaque on the wall. I went to a bar once that claimed Al Capone stopped in once while on the run from the G-Men in Chicago. Another bar told me that when John Glenn returned from his historic space orbit he stopped in the bar to eat his first Hamburger back on earth.

Another bar proclaimed Harry Houdini, the great magician, often came in - wearing disguises to practice his new magic routines on the locals; and I even read that whenever John Wayne went back to Iowa to visit his old boyhood hometown he would always stop in this one bar and yell out loud “Boys the drinks are on me”.  Now I am not sure if any of these stories are fact but they all sounded good and each of those legends helped make those bars a ton of money.

So if your bar doesn’t have a Legend – why not create one? 

Imagine a bar somewhere - anywhere - called Vic’s Pump Room. Now Vic bought the bar back in the late 60’s, and then sold it to his son-in-law Walther in 1992. Walther still owns the bar but now his twin daughters, April and Agnes, operate and manage it. Vic’s sells cold beer and provides a good stiff drink in a clean, friendly atmosphere. Vic’s is in a modest neighborhood in an older section of town.  It has a gorgeous carved mahogany back bar area and 70% of the patrons are locals while 30% are strangers passing through town.

Imagine people entering and seeing this magnificent older bar. They have a few drinks, order a burger then ask ‘what’s the deal’? Well the bartender replies, Vic bought the bar in the 60’s, sold it to Walter his son in law in the 90’s and now Vic’s granddaughters - April and Agnes - run it. Boring!

What if Vic’s Pump Room had a Legend - a great legend.  Suppose it was once the site of Aldo’s Fine Jewelry Shop? Aldo, a Romanian watchmaker, immigrated to America in 1921 and quickly earned a reputation for making elegant and accurate time pieces. What if Eleanor Roosevelt heard of Aldo's and was reported to have bought two of Aldo’s watches which she gave to the Presidents of Argentina and Prime Minister of Iceland when they attended an Official White House diner?

What if Aldo’s Jewelry shop flourished until members of the notorious Simpson gang out of Wichita came to town and robbed him. As Aldo tried to defend his store he was over powered by two gang members who broke three fingers on his right hand thus ending his watch making career. Needing money to return to Romania, Aldo sold the building to the Malone brothers: Jeremiah and Jeddah - two local taxi drivers. 

As the Malone’s drove their taxis through town each day they saw a need for a conveniently located fun bar. So they converted Aldo’s old Jewelry Store into the beautiful bar you see today. They operated it successfully until Jeremiah was stabbed by Lefty Cohen for cheating during a dice game in the back room.

Fearing for their lives the Malone Brother’s fled town and Vic then bought the bar from them. Vic renamed the bar the ‘Pump Room’ because of the huge red cast iron water pump down in the basement.

Now I ask you – which sounds better? A bar with a blah-blah history? Or a bar with a fantastic legend?  When you are ready to create a legend for your bar - contact me and let's do it right.

Eba G is a bar analyst who helps bar and tavern owners increase sales and maximize profits. Isn’t it time you increase your bar or tavern’s sales and profits?  Join Eba G. on Face Book.  It’s easy just search ‘Eba Gee’ and friend me.     

Do Happy Hours Generate Profits For Your Bar and Tavern?

Does your bar offer Happy Hours? 

Are you making money or losing money?

Some bars offer Double Bubbles, some host 2 - 4 - 1 Nights still others schedule Decompression Sessions or Group Therapy Hours.  A few bold but really dumb bar owners offer Triple Cripples. It makes no difference what they are called - the question I am asking is: Do periods of reduced drink prices actually increase your bar’s sales and profitability?

Before I give my answer let me share a story. It was Easter morning and Becky’s Mom was in the kitchen preparing the Easter ham.  As usual, Mom took out a large knife and cut approximately 2 inches of meat off each side of the ham before wrapping it in tin foil and placing it in the oven.

“Momma” Becky asked “Why do you always cut 2 inches off each side of the ham?” “Well it’s an old family tradition I learned from my Momma”. When Grandma arrived around 11am Becky asked Grandma about this old family tradition.  Grandma said “Well Dear all I know is my Momma always did it so I decided to do it as well”.

When Great-grandma arrived around 2pm Becky ran over and asked “Great Grandma why did you always cut off two inches of meat off each side of the Easter Ham?” Great grandma sat down smiled and replied “Well you see Becky when your great grandfather and I first got married we didn’t have a lot of money; we couldn’t afford one of those big fancy stoves. The only way I could fit an Easter ham in our small oven was to cut two inches off on each side. 

So let’s now go back to Happy Hours.  Do Happy Hours really increase profits or are bar and tavern owners’ just ‘cutting ham’? The only person who knows for sure is the bar owner - the person who pays the bills. They know product costs and the revenues they generate.

If you own or manage a bar, an American Legion or VFW post, Eagles or Elks club do you have a Happy Hour?  Why???

I love when a bar owner tells me happy hours help them attract new customers.  Really!!  Well just how many new customers have you picked up each month - the last year because of your Happy Hours I ask?  They don’t have a clue.  It’s just their regulars coming in?

Personally, I am insulted when I have to pay $3 for a mixed drink at one time then $4 at another.  I get the same drink, in the same bar, usually served by the same bartender - generally in the same glass and yet I pay two different prices.  Why??

Money making Alternatives to Happy Hours are:  A “Featured Drink Special” and “Customer Appreciation Night” – often times called Industry Night. The featured drink special is easy. You identify a top shelf drink or beer and reduce the price only on that one item. For example you have a Corona or Sam Adams’ Night on Tuesday’s and Thursday … it would mean only Corona or Sam Adams are reduced in price from 4 to 7.  People who normally may not drink a Corona or Sam Adams may try because of the reduced priced and like it.  They may then make it their preferred drink when they come on other days and now you are making more money.  Simple - right!  

The Customer Appreciation or Industry Night is even simpler. Pick your slowest night of the week – generally a Monday or Wednesday and call it ‘Customer Appreciation night’.  Anyone who walks in you bar between 4 and 7, gets a free drink.  That’s it ‘one free drink! Since it’s a slow night and you’re already paying a bartender why not get people in on your slow night.  After their free drink they may stay and have another or two. Plus people walking past may see your bar is hopping on a slow night and be curious stop in.  They get a free drink and meet your staff – now you may have a new customer.  

All Eba G is saying - Don’t Cut Ham - because everyone is.  If Happy Hours are not making you money try something different.  Don’t lose revenue because of an old stupid tradition.

Eba G. is a small bar and local tavern profit analyst. Google Eba Gee on Face Book or link with Eba on www.linkedin.com/in/ebagee.  Isn’t it time you started increasing your sales and profits.      

The 3M Test” for Small Bars and Local Taverns

When small bar and local tavern owners are experiencing financial troubles it’s important to cut to the chase quickly. Success with a bar is more than just pouring beers and dispensing booze. Some people are not able to accept all the demands of operating and maintaining a bar; they burn out after a few years or lose their business focus. 

Some bar and tavern owners know they should get out of the business; however for whatever reasons they stick in it and wear down the imagine of their bar or tavern to a point where it’s almost impossible for them to repair it.

Many small bar and local tavern owners spend up all their good will and create negative baggage in the communities they reside. It’s inconceivable some bar owners can ever change the way they do business. When situations like this are obvious the only recommendation I can make is “sell you bar or tavern and leave the community”. By selling your failing bar or tavern to someone new, someone with fresh ideas, someone willing to provide a valuable service to the community and someone who really wants to make money everyone wins.

The litmus test I use to determine if a bar or tavern can really make money is based on Ockham’s razor. If you are not familiar with Ockham’s razor let me briefly explain. Ockham’s razor is a term used in natural science to explain the reason(s) for taking a proposed course of action when confronted with a perplexing problem. 

Though Robert Ockham is given credit for initiating this term in the 20 Century the concept actually goes back to ancient Greece. The razor states that after all explanations for a problem are stated - always look for the simplest solution. Don’t complicate the process if you want to make money with your bar or tavern.

I call my Eba G. litmus test the 3M’s assessment. Using the 3M’s I can quickly assess why a small bar or local tavern is struggling. The 3M’s give me a starting point to decide how to precede with a corrective action plan.

The first M refers to the Management plan. Do bar or tavern owners in trouble have a written management plan or is it just in their head? For example are employee work schedules published in advance or are they written as needed? Is there a written bar clean-up up schedule with duties assigned to various staff or do owners just performed all clean up when they have time? Is there a written inventory control plan that dictates the what types and what quantities of products should be on hand or does the bar owner and staff just “wing it”?

The second M is the Marketing Plan. Other than an obligatory listing in the yellow pages does any real marketing take place? Are ads run and news releases sent to the local media outlets on a scheduled basis regarding upcoming events? Is there a plan for community sponsorships? What is the bar or tavern’s target market? Is there a “personal” Face Book and “business” page? Sometimes the question is - does the bar owner know what Face book is? Has the bar or tavern created a Linked In page, an About Me page or a Twitter account – all of which are free? What message is left on the bar or tavern’s voice mail recorder? Does the bar or tavern have an email account or is the bar owners person email account used for business? When do unique events and special celebrations occur? Are they planned out in advance or just thrown together haphazardly at the last minute? How are promotional pieces and give-a-ways purchased and distributed?

The final M is what the Money plan is. Does a bar or tavern have a written financial plan? Are operating funds budgeted and segregated? Are capital improvement accounts restricted? Are their special accounts for maintenance and petty cash? When expenses occur do they come out of the till? Out of the owner’s personal account? Or business accounts?

When I understand the 3M’s behind a small bar or local tavern I have a basis to use Ockham’s razor and can create a corrective action plan to either make the bar or tavern owner money or suggest he or she get out of the business.

Just remember if you are not making money with your small bar or local tavern – something is wrong. Either get out of the business or call Eba G. to get you on the road to profitability.

Hey Bar Bartenders – Why the Punt?

Not long ago I visited Bayfield, Wisconsin a charming town on the shores of Lake Superior. On the flight up I read a magazine article regarding a recent gallop poll which shared insights into the alcohol consumption patterns of Americans. Though beer is by far America’s favorite adult beverage (39% of Americans say they only drink beer), wine is now gaining popularity; 35 percent of Americans now say they prefer wine to beer.

While strolling through downtown Bayfield I came upon a small liquor store and naturally walked in. It had an extensive inventory of beverages, especially wines. Many of the wines were brands I knew, while others were foreign wines - not in the sense they were from countries overseas but they were all local wines - produced by small vintners from up in northern Wisconsin, Michigan and Minnesota.

Not a big wine drinker I found myself picking up many of the unfamiliar bottles and reading their labels. While holding the bottles in my hand, I noticed some bottles had deep indentations in their bases while others just had flat bottoms. When I asked the sales clerk why this was she admitted she did not know. So when I returned home I talked to several wine distributors I know personally and was surprised to learn some very interesting trivia about wine bottles which I think every bartender and wait staff member should know.

The next time you have a chance take a look at the bottom of the wine bottles in your bar’s inventory. More than likely you will see indentations in some of the bottle bottoms. 

Get ready - here comes the education.  The inward 'dimple' on the bottom of a wine bottle is officially called “The Punt” by Europeans; American sommeliers (that a fancy word for wine experts) generally refer to it as the "kick-up". From what I learned talking to sommeliers and wine distributors there is no one single reason any one agrees on for this unique feature in the bottom of a wine bottle; however I have to admit the reasons I learned were both bizarre and fascinating. Below is a list of the ten most common explanations I was provided as to why wine bottles have “punts” or "kick-ups?

1) Punts are carryovers from when wine bottles were actually hand blown. Glass blowers always to a moment to push in the bottom of the bottle before they removed their blow pipes to ensure the bottle would always sit flat and not scratch the surface of a table or counter when the bottle was sat down.

2) Punts make a wine bottle less tipsy. Its true! A flat bottom wine bottle only needs a slight nudge to become unstable - and tip over - however the punt provides the bottle with stability should the bottle be accidentally bumped by a person sitting at the dinner table.

3) Punts help consolidate any sediments in the bottom of the bottle thus it prevents sediments from being poured into a glass. {Remember years ago vintners [wine makers] had  problems with sediment, however today modern vintners use filters so there is really little sediment found in wines today}.

4) Punts increase the strength of the bottle.  The punt allows a bottle to easily hold the high pressure of sparkling wines and champagnes.  They also help control CO2 discharges when some wines continue to ferment in the bottle.

5) Punts takes up room in the bottle which allows a bottle to appear larger, yet hold a lesser amount of wine. (This to me is an idiotic reason cynical people believe. I don't).

6) Punts help prevent wine bottles from shattering should they fall off a table and onto the floor.  Its true - the punt design is actually an engineering thing.

7) My favorite.  Prior to the invention of cardboard and wooden boxes wine bottles were typically laid on their sides in the cargo holds of sailing ships. The punts allowed one bottle’s neck to fit nicely in the base of another bottle, thus they (the punts) prevented wine bottles from rolling around below deck and allowed more bottles to be stacked row upon row during a voyage.

8) Punts provide a convenient place for a Wine Steward {a fancy term for a wine server} thumb.  The punt allegedly makes allows a server to more accurately pour wine.

9) Punts make it easier for vintners to clean bottles prior to filling them with wine. When a stream of hot water is injected into a bottle it hits the punt and is deflected back throughout the entire bottle evenly and which cleans the bottles quicker.

10) Finally, the true connoisseurs of wine always insist “Punts make wine taste better”.

Whatever the reason here is what I have personally discovered.  Every time I go into a liquor store I ask the clerk where is your most expensive bottle of wine.  When they point it out I pick up the bottle and check the punt.  With very few exceptions - the more expensive the bottle of wine is - the deeper the punt or kick-up is.  Go figure.

Well there you have Eba G.’s reasons for punts in wine bottles. Next time you see a bottle of wine check out the punts.  Most importantly I highly recommend you share this knowledge with your customers - believe me you will sell more wine if you do. And by all means make sure to visit www.linkedin.com/in/ebagee or go to www.barprofits.blogspot.com for more great ideas on how you can improve your professionalism or increase the sales in your bar or tavern. 

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Why Most Theme Bars Fail

My long term readers know I am a big fan of Theme Bars - bars that offer a unique niche and provide an atmosphere based on a special theme.  Unfortunately, most of the bars that proclaim to be 'Theme Bars' really aren't and it’s sad.

Remember this: Several large screen TV's located throughout a bar does not constitute a 'Sports Bar'.

Many of my old time readers will remember that years ago, one of my very first client’s was a couple from northern Michigan.  They had gone to Jamaica for a vacation and fell in love with the Caribbean atmosphere:  the weather, the ocean, the sandy beaches but most of all a little Tiki bar they visited each day during their stay in Jamaica.  

When they returned home to Michigan they decided to buy a local bar and create a 'Tiki Bar'.  They both quit their jobs and cashed in their 401Ks.  Their goal was to bring all the fun and excitement of a Jamaican Tiki bar back to northern Michigan. Now three years later they were wallowing in debt about to lose everything they owned.

Upon receiving their call I flew up to Michigan to assist. After meeting with the couple and seeing their bar; it was clear to see why they were in trouble.  Other than having the words “TIKI BAR” impressively painted on the front window, the only other ‘theme appeal’ they offered was a dozen eloquently framed pictures - of their now almost 3 year old Jamaican vacation mounted on the walls. Absolutely nothing in their bar felt Jamaican or 'Tiki-ish'.

Both the husband and wife had taken part-time jobs to pay their bills and the two of them worked 90% of all the bar shifts. Unbelievably neither the husband nor the wife knew how to make any Caribbean style drinks.  No were in the bar was coconut crème, pineapple juice or any fresh fruit other then lemons. 

Tap beer, shots and mixed drinks like whiskey old fashions and Manhattans were their staple.  The juke box blared out  Country Western – but oh God this couple was proud to own the only Tiki bar in northern Michigan.   

Recently, while on another assignment I had the opportunity to visit an old colleague who asked if I’d like to grab a bite to eat.  He said he was going to take me to a place called Gilligan’s – named after the famed Gilligan’s Island TV show.  Boy O Boy was I excited; I had never been to a Gilligan’s Island theme bar before. 

As we pulled in the parking lot there it was - a big sign “Gilligan’s”. I could hardly wait to get inside.  Immediately upon entering Gilligan’s shades of the Tiki Bar flashed through my head. The decorum of Gilligan’s was nothing special:  a semicircular bar area, a few scattered tables, a juke box, a couple of large screen TV’s behind the bar, a pool table and a dart machine.

When the server came to take our orders wearing blue jeans and worn T-shirt  I asked “Why do you call this place Gilligan’s?” He proudly pointed to three pictures hanging on one wall.  The first picture was of the Skipper and his little buddy, the second, was a group shot of all the castaways, and finally the last photo was of the Professor and Gilligan working on some kind of contraption the Professor invented as Ginger and Mary Ann watched. 

He then flashed a big smile and said “look above those doors”.  Oh my God he was right, it was amazing.  Above each one of the restroom doors were signs:  One read Mr. Howell and the other door read Mrs. Howell.  Honestly if my legs weren’t under the table I might just have floated up into space from all the excitement Gilligan's theme bar generated.

Before leaving I was able to actually meet the owner. I asked him why his staff wasn't dressed like Gilligan Islanders in 'would be sailor attire' or why his hostess didn’t dress like Ginger or why he himself didn’t wear a cap like the skipper did. “Awe that stuff cost too much and the employees don’t like wearing that crap”.  Humm I thought - smart man! 

Once again here was another splendid opportunity for a bar owner to create a unique and special atmosphere - something different - an honest to goodness theme bar that no one else in the area had … but he didn’t because his staff didn't like to wear that crap.

Great theme bars can be money makers where both customers and profits just roll in if done right. But a theme for a bar has to be developed, it must be cultivated and it has to be consistent.  Beer, booze and food can be purchased just about anywhere but finding a great theme bar where you can really have fun and spend lots of money are hard to find. 

'Theme bars' will always fail when they don't have a theme.

Eba G is profit analyst who helps small bar and local taverns owner significantly increase their sales and profits for  Have a question?  Send Eba G an email at barprofitman@gmail.com.   Want more great ideas on how to increase your bar’s profits visit www.barprofits.blogspot.com.    

Something We Should All Think About

April 7th ---- Beer Day

For many people (in the United States) today, April 7 is an unofficial holiday - officially called Beer Day. Back on March 23rd, 1933, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed into law the Cullen- Harrison Act which ended prohibition and making the sale of beer in the United States once again legal beginning on April 7th, 1933.

American for 13 long years Americans were not allowed to enjoy beer that had any significant alcoholic content in it because the Volstead Act {Prohibition} had been enacted in 1920. So today if you have a chance – hoist a beer and say Happy Beer Day.

Bar Owners and Bar Tenders - Learn From This - Don't Be Stupid On Face Book

Volunteer Duty at the National Cemetery

Kevin and I volunteered for Cemetery duty at our local National Cemetery here in Oklahoma on Memorial Day. Kevin is a member of our local American Legion and I am with the VFW post here in town.

We were lucky we drew a short shift from 3 PM to 7PM; however it turned out to be a longer time then I expected. Man, all I wanted to do was get the day over with and get back to the Post and have a few cold one. While at attention, I couldn’t help myself, I cheated and looked at my watch; I saw the time was 6:55 and thought my God just five more minutes and the cemetery gates will close and I am outta here. I felt just miserable in the sweltering heat wearing my full dress uniform.   

Just then a car pulled in the cemetery; it was an older model Cadillac – however it looked almost showroom new.  It drove in at a snail's pace and parked in front of the main building and an old lady got out.  God did she move slow; I thought she was paralyzed. She had a cane in one hand and a big sheaf of flowers in the other - about four or five bunches as best I could tell.

I couldn't help myself. An unwanted thought flashed through my mind and left a bitter taste: 'This old broad is probably going to spend an hour here and I'm ready to get back to the Post for a few beers.' Unfortunately, I volunteered for this duty and now it was my job was to escort or assist anyone coming into the cemetery – regardless of the time.

I knew Kevin would lock the 'In' gate promptly at 7PM and I was pretty sure, if I could hurry up this old biddy up we could make it to the Post by 7:30.  I broke attention and my hip made those God awful gritty noises as I took my first few steps - the pain shot up my spine.

I must have looked like a real military sight - a middle-aged man with a noticeable pot gut, limping and wearing a full-dress uniform, which had lost its razor crease about thirty minutes after arriving on duty at 3 in this terrible August heat.

I walked over to the old lady and she looked up at me with her old woman's squint.  'Ma'am, may I assist you in any way?'  She did not take long to answer.  'Yes, son - carry these flowers? I seem to be moving a tad slow these days.'  'My pleasure, ma'am.' I replied {it was a lie}.

She looked at me again and asked 'Son where were you stationed?'  'Vietnam, ma'am. Ground - pounder. '69 to '71.'  She looked at me closer. 'Wounded in action, I see. Well I'll try to be as quick as I can.'

I lied again, 'No hurry, ma'am.' Take your time. She smiled and said ' Son, I'm 88-years-old and I can tell a lie from a long way off. So let's just get this done.’ As we walked she said ‘You know this might be the last time I ever make out here and can do this.  My name's Joanne Wieserman, and I've a few Marines I'd like to see one more time before I go just to say hello.'

'Yes, ma 'am - I am at your service.'

She headed for the World War I section and stopped at a grave stone. She pulled one of the flower bunches out of my arms and laid it on top of the stone. She murmured something I couldn't quite make out; however the name on the marble was Donald S. Davidson, USMC: France 1918.

She turned away and made a straight line for the World War II section, again stopping at one stone. This time I saw a tear slowly track its way down her cheek. She then grabbed another bunch of flowers and put it on that stone; the name on the stone was Stephen X. Davidson, USMC, 1943.

She then went up a few rows, grabbed another bunch of flowers out of my arms and laid them on another stone. This time the stone read Stanley J. Wieserman, USMC, 1944.  At this stone she paused for a very long time and now several tears flowed.  Then she said 'Only two more, son, and then you will be done with me'.

I almost didn't say anything, but, somehow I managed to say 'Take your time Ma'am.'

She looked confused now and asked ' Where's the Vietnam section, son? I seem to have lost my way. ’I pointed with my chin; 'That way, ma'am.'  'Oh!' she chuckled quietly. 'Son, me and old age aren’t too friendly.'

She then headed down the walkway I'd pointed at and she stopped at a couple of stones before she found the one she wanted. She grabbed another bunch of flowers from my arms placed it on the stone of Larry Wieserman, USMC, 1968 where she just stood for about 5 minutes.  Then we walked to the last stone Darrel Wieserman, USMC, 1970.  She stood there murmuring words which I could not make out but I saw a noticeable stream of tears flow by this stone.

'OK, son, I'm finished. You can take me back to my car and you can go home now.'

‘Yes, ma'am. If I may ask ma'am, were those your kinfolk’?

She said ' Yes, Donald Davidson was my father, Stephen was my uncle, Stanley was my husband, Larry and Darrel were my sons. All killed in action, all were Marines.'

I walked with her as she slowly and painfully made her way back to her car.  As she drove off I waited for a polite distance to come between us - then I double-timed it over to Kevin who was waiting in the running car with the air conditioner on.  I jumped in and said "let’s go - get to the 'Out' gate ASAP... there is something we have to do.'

Kevin started to say something, but when he saw the look I gave him he broke the rules and sped through the cemetery as fast as he could down the service road.  Thankfully we made it to the “Out’ gate before Mrs.Wieserman.  Her car was just now approaching the rotunda.

'Kevin" I said” walk with me and stand next to me at the gatepost and for God’s sake stand at attention - just follow my lead".  We humped it across the drive and when the Cadillac came puttering around from the hedges and began heading toward the gate, I yelled 'Ten Hut! - - - Present Haaaarms!'

I have to hand it to Kevin; he never blinked an eye. Standing next to me in his dress uniform at attention his salute would have made any DI proud. 

Mrs. Wieserman drove through that gate that day with two old worn-out soldiers - members of a small town American Legion and VFW - giving her a special send-off - a send off she deserved and earned for the services she had rendered to her country and for knowing that duty, honor and sacrifices go far beyond the realm of what most people can phantom.

I’m not sure, but to this very day, I honestly believe I saw a salute returned from that old lady driving that Cadillac.

Forgive me if your computer screen just got blurry -- mine did to – it always does when I read this story.  I sincerely hope this story was worth sharing as because I firmly believe that we as a nation never forget those who have fallen before us. Feel free to do what you want with this story - delete it if you like; however my hope is you will take just a moment to share this great story with some friends or loved ones.  Eba Gee USAF - Retired {1968 - 1989} 

Interesting Thought To Ponder

Something Every Bar Owner, Bartender and all Wait Staff Personnel Should Think About.

Bar Tender Trivia -- Why are There 18 Holes in a Round of Golf?

Here is a wee bit of history every bartender should know and and share with their friends.

Why are There 18 Holes in a Round of Golf and not 10, 15, or 20?

Legend has it that during a discussion of the founding members of St Andrews Golf Course in Scotland back in 1858 when the game of golf was being established, a senior member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 drams (the Scottish equivalent of shots) to polish off a good bottle of Scotch Whisky.

All the founding members of St Andrews agreed; by limiting players of the game of golf to one shot of Scotch per hole a round of golf would be officially be over when the Scotch ran out or at the end of 18 holes.

Should the Lime Go in the Coconut?

Best Bar Joke I Have Heard In Years

Siamese Twins Walk into a Bar ...

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson beers, please."

The bartender, feels slightly awkward, so he tries to make polite conversation while pouring their beers. "You lads on vacation?" "Nope but next month we are off to England," says John. "We go to England every year. We stay there for 10 days and rent a car.  Every day we  drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim nods his head in agreement.

"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the rich history, the bold fresh beers, the culture." "Nah, we don't like any of that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's for us, eh Jim"? Again Jim nods his head to show his agreement.

"We can't stand the English - they're rude and so damn arrogant, we don't like their beers and we don't care about their culture."

"So why do you lads keep going to England year after year?" asks the bartender.

"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

Public Safety Advisory

If you work in the bar or tavern industry this public advisory may be of significance.

Just received this information from a good friend and wanted to get it out ASAP to all of you in the bar and beverage industries. The US Homeland Security Agency has just issued an advisory notice you should be aware of If your work involves serving the public or dealing with a lot of foreign travelers this information could save your life.

According to homeland security the number one tactic terrorists and ‘disturbed US citizens’ are now using is to - conceal their weapons. Concealing or disguising their weapons from the public is necessary especially when they enter bars, taverns, pubs & grills, night clubs, casinos, country clubs etc. as well as larger outdoor public gathering places such as beer fests and summer concerts where alcoholic beverages are served.

Please look closely at the picture provided.

At first glance - to an untrained eye – this might look like a normal “Red Solo party cup”; however if you study this picture carefully you may be able to notice there is a fully loaded, automatic Glock 18-C pistol carefully hidden inside the cup.

Analyst and forecasters at Homeland Security believe terrorists and disturbed American citizens may soon be using this ‘Red Solo cup’ disguise to conceal their weapons.

During these troubling times is important we in the hospitality and food & beverage industries stay vigilant at all times.  I urge you to share this information with your colleagues, co-workers and neighbors. Remember if you, your co-workers or neighbors, are not able to spot a weapon disguised like this you might just be the recipient of a cup of hot lead.

Note:  If information like this is important I will continue to share it - just let me know.  If if is not important let me know as well.