A Quickie Please

A man traveling out west enters a small restaurant that serves beer and is seated at a table.  In a few minutes an attractive waitresses walks over and asks, "What would you like, sir?" 

The man looks at the menu and then scans the waitress’ beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."

The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns to his table and asks again, "Sir, what would you like?"  The man flashes the waitress a broad smile and answers, "A quickie, please."

This time her anger takes over, and she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.

A elderly gentleman sitting at the next table sipping on a beer leans over and whispers, "Young Man, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'."

Something We Should All Think About

April 7th ---- Beer Day

For many people (in the United States) today, April 7 is an unofficial holiday - officially called Beer Day. Back on March 23rd, 1933, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed into law the Cullen- Harrison Act which ended prohibition and making the sale of beer in the United States once again legal beginning on April 7th, 1933.

American for 13 long years Americans were not allowed to enjoy beer that had any significant alcoholic content in it because the Volstead Act {Prohibition} had been enacted in 1920. So today if you have a chance – hoist a beer and say Happy Beer Day.

Interesting Thought To Ponder

Bar Tender Trivia -- Why are There 18 Holes in a Round of Golf?

Here is a wee bit of history every bartender should know and and share with their friends.

Why are There 18 Holes in a Round of Golf and not 10, 15, or 20?

Legend has it that during a discussion of the founding members of St Andrews Golf Course in Scotland back in 1858 when the game of golf was being established, a senior member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 drams (the Scottish equivalent of shots) to polish off a good bottle of Scotch Whisky.

All the founding members of St Andrews agreed; by limiting players of the game of golf to one shot of Scotch per hole a round of golf would be officially be over when the Scotch ran out or at the end of 18 holes.

Should the Lime Go in the Coconut?

I Did Not Jog Today

Best Bar Joke I Have Heard In Years

Siamese Twins Walk into a Bar ...

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson beers, please."

The bartender, feels slightly awkward, so he tries to make polite conversation while pouring their beers. "You lads on vacation?" "Nope but next month we are off to England," says John. "We go to England every year. We stay there for 10 days and rent a car.  Every day we  drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim nods his head in agreement.

"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the rich history, the bold fresh beers, the culture." "Nah, we don't like any of that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's for us, eh Jim"? Again Jim nods his head to show his agreement.

"We can't stand the English - they're rude and so damn arrogant, we don't like their beers and we don't care about their culture."

"So why do you lads keep going to England year after year?" asks the bartender.

"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

Public Safety Advisory

If you work in the bar or tavern industry this public advisory may be of significance.

Just received this information from a good friend and wanted to get it out ASAP to all of you in the bar and beverage industries. The US Homeland Security Agency has just issued an advisory notice you should be aware of If your work involves serving the public or dealing with a lot of foreign travelers this information could save your life.

According to homeland security the number one tactic terrorists and ‘disturbed US citizens’ are now using is to - conceal their weapons. Concealing or disguising their weapons from the public is necessary especially when they enter bars, taverns, pubs & grills, night clubs, casinos, country clubs etc. as well as larger outdoor public gathering places such as beer fests and summer concerts where alcoholic beverages are served.

Please look closely at the picture provided.

At first glance - to an untrained eye – this might look like a normal “Red Solo party cup”; however if you study this picture carefully you may be able to notice there is a fully loaded, automatic Glock 18-C pistol carefully hidden inside the cup.

Analyst and forecasters at Homeland Security believe terrorists and disturbed American citizens may soon be using this ‘Red Solo cup’ disguise to conceal their weapons.

During these troubling times is important we in the hospitality and food & beverage industries stay vigilant at all times.  I urge you to share this information with your colleagues, co-workers and neighbors. Remember if you, your co-workers or neighbors, are not able to spot a weapon disguised like this you might just be the recipient of a cup of hot lead.

Note:  If information like this is important I will continue to share it - just let me know.  If if is not important let me know as well.  

Bartender Trivia - Parcheesi

As many of you know I am a big fan of trivia.  Customers who come in to your bar or tavern when you are on duty do not want to be burdened with problems.  They want to come in, relax and have fun.  So why not entertain them with great trivia.

Parcheesi is a board game that many of use played as children.  Few people however are aware that Parcheesi is a board game that originated in India.  Parcheesi was a game played by only the ruling class of India.  

The game (Parcheesi) was played outdoors in the palace garden(s) and the pieces - get this - which were human servants -  beautiful young women who served the ruler. 

The game pieces actually walked across color tiles placed in the lawn. The goal was to get all the pieces (the young ladies) home.  Home was the center of the garden were the lord of the house sat with his friends. 

Bartender Trivia - Drive In Theaters

As many of you know I am a big fan of 'trivia'.  I think bar owners and bartenders who know good trivia - really good trivia entice their customers to come back.

Its a fact, Customers who enter your bar, tavern or pub when you are working do not want to be burdened with 'problems' - your problems, your business's problems or the communities problems - they have problems of their own. 

Customers who enter your bar come in to relax and have a good time.  In other words they want to have fun and escape from their reality.  So why not entertain them when they are in your bar? Entertain them with some really great trivia. Trivia they can enjoy and trivia they can relate to.

See if they know this one ... The first driven-in theater in the United States was opened in Camden, NJ.  It was built by Richard Hollingshead. 

To create his drive-in Mr. Hollingshead strung a sheet between two trees and mounted a project on the hood of his car. 

Here is the kicker.  Why did he create a drive in theater?  Well he said his mother was the inspiration for his idea. 

His mother was a very large woman who always felt uncomfortable sitting in the small seats found in movie theaters of the day.  By showing his movie outside his mother could sit in the front seat of his car and enjoy the movie.  

Something every bar and tavern owner as well as their bar and wait staffs need to remember.

Potential Health Advisory For Bar Owners and Bartenders

Recent studies conducted by the CDC - Center for Dease Control indicate that: 

Drinking Vodka over ice, can cause kidney failure.

Drinking Rum over ice, can cause liver failure.

Drinking Whiskey over ice, can create heart problems.

Drinking Gin over ice, can lead to brain problems.

Though the studies are not complete all evidence gathered so far is strongly suggesting that ice may not be good for your health.

As a courtesy and public service it might be wise to nform all your friends and bar customers of this potential health risk.

Is It Important to Know Kung Fu When Drinking Beer?

So this guy is standing in line at a concession waiting for the hot dog he ordered when a small Asian looking guy gets in line next to him and starts drinking a beer.

The guy look at he Asian guy and asked, "Do you know any of that martial arts stuff, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu ?"

The guy with the beer turns an says "No, but why would you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?"

"No", said the guy, "It's because you're drinking my beer, asshole."

Trivia for Beer Distributors and Bar & Tavern Owners

Great Story To Share in Your Bar or Tavern

A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, went on field trip to see a brand new racetrack in their community. The idea was the children could learn about thoroughbred horses and actually get to see some of the horses in their stalls. The children were accompanied by two female teachers.

     

After walking around the race track for a couple hours it was time to take the children to the bathroom. Since there were only two teachers it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys waited outside the men's room. All of a sudden one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinals - they were all to high.

Feeling awkward but having no choice, the teacher had to go inside to help each one of the boys. First she undid their pants, then she hoisted them up up one by one. It was obvious she was going to have to hold their "you know what" to direct the flow away from their clothes. As she lifted the fourth boy the teacher could not help but notice that this boy was unusually well endowed for his age.

Trying not to show her embarrassment she said, "You must be in the 5th grade."  “No, ma'am”, he replied, “I'm riding “Silver Arrow” in the seventh race today, but I really do appreciate your help”

Remember There is Help - You Can Change!

The New Minister Is Against Alcohol

The new minister in town was completing a temperance sermon he had written for his new congregation.  He said with great emphasis, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

 With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' 

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river 
With his sermon complete, he sat down and the congregation sat silent ... stunned by his words and strong beliefs.

The Church's organist (a part-time bartender at her brothers local tavern) very cautiously stood up and walked slowly over to the organ.  When she sat down she opened her hymnal and announced 'For our closing song, let us all turn to Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.' 

This is the Number One Reason Why People Do Not Drink and Drive in Viet Nam

Perhaps we can learn from it.  Please take a moment and watch this education video clip.

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/4phFYiMGCIY?rel=0