Thursday, December 26, 2013

The New Minister Is Against Alcohol

The new minister in town was completing a temperance sermon he had written for his new congregation.  He said with great emphasis, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

 With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' 

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river 
With his sermon complete, he sat down and the congregation sat silent ... stunned by his words and strong beliefs.

The Church's organist (a part-time bartender at her brothers local tavern) very cautiously stood up and walked slowly over to the organ.  When she sat down she opened her hymnal and announced 'For our closing song, let us all turn to Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.' 

Monday, December 16, 2013

A Beautiful Christmas Bar Story

A husband and his wife were Christmas shopping at mall a few days before Christmas and it was packed. As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look around and see that her husband was nowhere to be seen.

She was quite upset as they had a lot of shopping to do. Worried where he might be she called him on her cell phone to ask him where he was.

In a calm voice, he said, "Do you remember that quaint little Jewelry Shop we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford, and I promised you someday I would get it for you?"

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that shop." "Well, I'm in a little bar next door to it having a beer the mall is to crowded for me."

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Bartenders and Penquins --- Great Trivia

Interesting Animal Trivia I Hope You Can Use 

Yesterday one of our clients was conducting research on Arctic storms and how they effect global weather patterns when he came across some really amazing facts regarding Emperor Penguins.  I thought this was amazing trivia.  I share it with you in the hopes you can share it with your bar customers.  If you enjoyed these nine interesting facts please let me know?

First - Emperor Penguins are the largest of the 17 known species of penguins; they can stand 45 in. tall.

Second - Emperor Penguins can dive deeper than any other bird on earth, as deep 1,850 ft.

Third - Emperor Penguins can stay under water for more than 20 minutes.

Fourth - Emperor Penguins are the only animals to inhabit the open ice of Antarctica during the winter.

Fifth - Because of their aerodynamic bodies and strong flippers, Emperor Penguins can swim at speeds of 7.5 mph.

Sixth - Due to the harsh winds and blizzard conditions in Antarctica, Emperor Penguins frequently huddle together in large groups to keep warm.

Seventh - Less than a third of all juvenile penguins make it to their first birthday. Most are eaten by seabirds, leopard seals and killer whales.

Eighth - Mature Emperor Penguins live 15-20 years.

Ninth - And most amazing, for years scientists have been baffled because no one has ever found a dead Emperor Penguin on the surface of Antarctica. Many are eaten at sea, but what happens to all those who die from diseases, old age and natural causes on land? A Dutch research team solved this mystery in 2009 after collecting videotapes of special rituals.

It appears that whenever an Emperor Penguin dies on land, hundreds of penguins from the rook, including both adults and juveniles, gather around the body to pay their last respects. After several minutes of silence, all the females and children return to the rook and only the adult males stay. Then using their bills and strong flippers, they carve out a large hole in the ice’s surface. When the hole is twice the size of the deceased penguin, two of the oldest penguins will push the dead penguin’s body into the hole. Once in the hole, the entire group of males takes turns kicking ice and snow over the deceased body. When the body is completely covered, all the males sing out in unison, “FREEZE A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW - FREEZE A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW.”