The New Minister Is Against Alcohol

The new minister in town was completing a temperance sermon he had written for his new congregation.  He said with great emphasis, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

 With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' 

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river 
With his sermon complete, he sat down and the congregation sat silent ... stunned by his words and strong beliefs.

The Church's organist (a part-time bartender at her brothers local tavern) very cautiously stood up and walked slowly over to the organ.  When she sat down she opened her hymnal and announced 'For our closing song, let us all turn to Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'